Every day is hard, but some days I wonder how we have even made it this far, and furthermore, how we are going to continue to make it. As I went to Yahoo this morning to check e-mail, I saw a video for touching moments of 2011. I watched it (today is already an emotional day for me so why not throw in a touching video) and as I watched it, I think over the year at all the tragic things that have happened. Not to just me, but to the world. I think about all the people who have lost loved ones this year, and t's just still so unreal. I can remember hearing about all of those things, and thinking and talking about how sad it was. But I didn't actually feel how sad it was. I didn't feel what those thousands of people in Japan, or Joplin, or Tuscaloosa, or military, any of it, I didn't FEEL what they could possibly be feeling. And now when I hear about tragic things happening, like when someone else loses someone they love, I can actually feel for them. It's like being inducted into a club that no one wants to join, but once you join, you are always a member. I think about where those family members were when they got the news, I think about where I was when I got the news. I was so close to home. Life was so good, I was already talking to Cori, Ms. Candy, and John about what we were all going to do that day. I had no plans but to stay at home with the kids, and clean up, and play. Just a regular Saturday. I remember that phone call, and every time I pass that spot on the road, I can hear that phone call. I'm so very thankful for Chip Mclowsky, City of Lanett worker, that stopped and picked me up. I took off running after I hung up the phone and out of no where there he was and I flagged him down. He didn't have to stop, he could have just kept going. But not only did he stop, he didn't even ask questions, he took me right home. All of the tragic events that has hit in our home town since Dallas has been devastating to me. But I've never seen such love, as I have since the passing of Dallas. There has been so much support for me and from what I've seen for everyone else. I hope one day I can be as helpful to someone just as so many of you have been helpful to me.
As we get closer to Christmas, emotions are really hitting me hard. Everyone said they would, but you never really know until it happens. I'm trying to make this Christmas as normal as I can for Braydon and Knox. We aren't really focusing on a lot of presents this year. I want them to know from now on that family is the most important thing that we could ever have. Toys, electronics, clothes, it's all replaceable. But family is not. Dallas is not. So my hope for today is spreading love. My hope is to share feelings with other people, to sympathize with people I don't know and will never meet. To take a moment and pray for the people I hear about on the news, and what they must be feeling when things happen to them. And to love and appreciate all of my family, extended family, and friends and be thankful for the time I have with them. Three years is not even close to being long enough, but I love those three years with all my heart...
Lindsey
